8/18/13
8/3/13
7/27/13
Desmond Tutu Would Prefer Hell Over A Homophobic Heaven
Desmond Tutu Would Prefer Hell Over A Homophobic Heaven:
"I would not worship a God who is homophobic and that is how deeply I feel about this."
"I would not worship a God who is homophobic and that is how deeply I feel about this."
7/24/13
Married 50 years - Priceless
{Via Billie C.} After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.” “Now ... We have an $800,000 home, a $65,000 car, a nice big bed and a large-screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of the bargain." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!
6/26/13
Anal Optic Nerve
via Millie N.
{A little vulgar but it sure is funny!!!}
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye!
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye!
6/18/13
6/17/13
Daily Kos: An abortion walks into a bar and says to the bartender ...
Daily Kos: An abortion walks into a bar and says to the bartender ...:
"So the way to convince young Americans to join the Republican Party is to make abortion hilarious. Or at least be sarcastic about it. Your abortion-related humor will then get the young folks these days to realize that you are hip and with it and that they really want on board with that whole Gilead-patterened premise of social conservative religious rule, aka Jesus Sharia."
"So the way to convince young Americans to join the Republican Party is to make abortion hilarious. Or at least be sarcastic about it. Your abortion-related humor will then get the young folks these days to realize that you are hip and with it and that they really want on board with that whole Gilead-patterened premise of social conservative religious rule, aka Jesus Sharia."
6/16/13
6/7/13
6/5/13
6/4/13
6/3/13
What I Wish I Had Said at the Occupy Wall Street Protest
What I Wish I Had Said at the Occupy Wall Street Protest:
"“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.”"
"“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.”"
6/2/13
New Medicare Program - Part G
New Medicare Program - Part G......................
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says
there is no nursing home available for you... So what
do you do?
Plan G gives anyone 65 years or older a hand-gun and
4 bullets.... You are allowed to shoot four politicians...
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where
you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head,
central heating, air conditioning and all the health care
you need!
Need new teeth? No problem....... Need glasses? That's
great.... Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart?
They're all covered.
As a bonus, your kids can come to visit you as often as
they do now......
And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same gov-
ernment that just told you that you they cannot afford
for you to go into a home.
And you get rid of 4 useless politicians while you are at it.
and reduce the government lifetime pensions by 4.
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay
any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what?
6/1/13
5/31/13
Religious Influence In U.S. Seen As Decreasing, But Most Americans Want More: Survey
Religious Influence In U.S. Seen As Decreasing, But Most Americans Want More: Survey:
"About 77 percent of Americans said religion is "losing its influence" on American life, while only 20 percent said religion has gained in influence."
"About 77 percent of Americans said religion is "losing its influence" on American life, while only 20 percent said religion has gained in influence."
Funny Breakup: Google Street View Allegedly Captures The Aftermath Of A Breakup (PHOTO)
Funny Breakup: Google Street View Allegedly Captures The Aftermath Of A Breakup (PHOTO):
"In Google's quest to capture the world's streets, the cameras fastened to their Street View cars have caught everything from motorcycle accidents and houses on fire, to couples having (most likely simulated) sex. And now it looks like they've captured the moment after one unlucky lady was told to hit the road."
"In Google's quest to capture the world's streets, the cameras fastened to their Street View cars have caught everything from motorcycle accidents and houses on fire, to couples having (most likely simulated) sex. And now it looks like they've captured the moment after one unlucky lady was told to hit the road."
5/29/13
Born on this date, May 29, in 1903. American comedian. Bob Hope
via
Born on this date, May 29, in 1903.
American comedian. Bob Hope
1903–2003, American comedian, b. London as Leslie Townes Hope; he came to the United States at the age of five. Famous for his “ski-jump” nose, topical humor, superb timing, brashly irreverant attitude, and rapid-fire delivery, Hope enjoyed immense popularity.
He began his show-business career as a vaudeville dancer and later appeared in plays and film, on radio and television, and in concert. In addition, he hosted the Academy Awards ceremonies a record-breaking 17 times over 38 years. Hope made more than 50 films, including seven “Road” pictures, a comic series that began with Road to Singapore (1940), which introduced his long partnership with crooner Bing Crosby and actress Dorothy Lamour, included Road to Morocco (1942), and ended with Road to Hong Kong (1962).
Among Hope’s other movies are Monsieur Beaucaire (1946), The Paleface (1947), The Seven Little Foys (1955), and How to Commit Marriage (1969). He also wrote books on various topics, including his overseas travels and his love of golf. After 1972 he left movies but continued as the host of numerous television variety specials.
A master of the monologue and the mildly salacious one-liner, he was an indefatigable entertainer of U.S. troops overseas from the 1940s into the 1990s.
5/28/13
5/26/13
5/25/13
5/22/13
Redefining The Meaning Of Religion : 13.7: Cosmos And Culture : NPR
Redefining The Meaning Of Religion : 13.7: Cosmos And Culture : NPR:
"The familiar stark divide between people of religion and without religion is too crude. Many millions of people who count themselves atheists have convictions and experiences very like and just as profound as those that believers count as religious."
"The familiar stark divide between people of religion and without religion is too crude. Many millions of people who count themselves atheists have convictions and experiences very like and just as profound as those that believers count as religious."
5/10/13
5/8/13
AFP: Paleontologists brought to tears, laughter by Creation Museum
AFP: Paleontologists brought to tears, laughter by Creation Museum:
""And there was a feeling of unhappiness, too, about the extent to which mainstream scientists and evolutionists are demonized -- that if you don't accept the Answers in Genesis vision of the history of Earth and life, you're contributing to the ills of society and of the church.""
""And there was a feeling of unhappiness, too, about the extent to which mainstream scientists and evolutionists are demonized -- that if you don't accept the Answers in Genesis vision of the history of Earth and life, you're contributing to the ills of society and of the church.""
5/6/13
5/2/13
Pope condemns 'slave labor' conditions in collapsed Bangladesh factory - World News
Pope condemns 'slave labor' conditions in collapsed Bangladesh factory - World News:
Pope Francis on Wednesday condemned the conditions of workers who died in the Bangladesh factory collapse as "slave labor," saying unjust salaries and the unbridled quest for profits were "against God."
Pope Francis on Wednesday condemned the conditions of workers who died in the Bangladesh factory collapse as "slave labor," saying unjust salaries and the unbridled quest for profits were "against God."
5/1/13
4/20/13
4/15/13
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