6/20/10
HOW TO HANDLE A HUSBAND
from Delinda,
| HOW TO HANDLE A HUSBAND A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay , Jamaica . Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple' The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America ,' explained the man. 'We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.' We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you *%&#@$ crazy!?' She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.' Cabrowar | .. | .ero | . |
6/19/10
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant
Image via Wikipedia
from Debra: Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!' If you don't send this to five friends, there will be five fewer people laughing in the SOUTH :D .. .ero |
6/10/10
YouTube - TIG NOTARO on Last Comic Standing 4
"unedited version of 'No Moleste'"
TIG NOTARO on Last Comic Standing 4
tignation
http://www.youtube.com/user/tignation
— July 04, 2006 —
unedited version of "No Moleste"
..
.ero
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6/9/10
Pomeranian bowling
"You brought the fucking Pomeranian bowling?"
"I haven't brought it bowling...I didn't rent it shoes, I'm not buying it a fucking beer, it's not taking a fucking turn..."
[from The Big Lebowski]
~~The Random Quote Generator
http://www.dymphna.net/randomquotage/index.html
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.ero
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"I haven't brought it bowling...I didn't rent it shoes, I'm not buying it a fucking beer, it's not taking a fucking turn..."
[from The Big Lebowski]
~~The Random Quote Generator
http://www.dymphna.net/randomquotage/index.html
..
.ero
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6/8/10
I'm from the government...don't tell me what I can and can't do!
from Micaela
=========
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for
illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into
his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am
allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?
Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's
big Santa Gertrudis bull......
.jpg)
..
.ero
.
=========
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for
illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into
his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am
allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?
Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's
big Santa Gertrudis bull......
.jpg)
..
.ero
.
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