6/26/13

Anal Optic Nerve

via Millie N.
{A little vulgar but it sure is funny!!!}





Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye!

Monty Python Crackpot Religions LTD

6/18/13

The Black Bra (as told by a married woman)

{courtesy of Amy E.}


The Black Bra (as told by a married woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.

We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend : The other night when my
boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams..
I love you..' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress :
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story : When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
'What's for dinner, Batman?'
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6/17/13

Daily Kos: An abortion walks into a bar and says to the bartender ...

Daily Kos: An abortion walks into a bar and says to the bartender ...:

 "So the way to convince young Americans to join the Republican Party is to make abortion hilarious. Or at least be sarcastic about it. Your abortion-related humor will then get the young folks these days to realize that you are hip and with it and that they really want on board with that whole Gilead-patterened premise of social conservative religious rule, aka Jesus Sharia."


Owl Jolson - YouTube

Owl Jolson - YouTube: ""


6/3/13

What I Wish I Had Said at the Occupy Wall Street Protest

What I Wish I Had Said at the Occupy Wall Street Protest:

 "“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.”"


6/2/13

New Medicare Program - Part G

 



 {thanks to Billy C.}


New Medicare Program - Part G......................


You're a sick senior citizen and the government says
there is no nursing home available for you... So what
do you do?

Plan G gives anyone 65 years or older a hand-gun and
4 bullets.... You are allowed to shoot four politicians...

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where
you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head,
central heating, air conditioning and all the health care
you need!

Need new teeth? No problem....... Need glasses? That's
great.... Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart?
They're all covered.

As a bonus, your kids can come to visit you as often as
they do now......

And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same gov-
ernment that just told you that you they cannot afford
for you to go into a home.

And you get rid of 4 useless politicians while you are at it.
and reduce the government lifetime pensions by 4.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay
any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what?
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