10/23/10

Pluto Scorpio


Glenn Beck denies his "half-human, half-monkey" roots | Media Matters for America

Arguing with Idiots was published by Simon and...Image via Wikipedia

Glenn Beck denies his "half-human, half-monkey" roots | Media Matters for America:
"I guess what all this comes down to is a choice. You can believe the people who dedicate their lives to expanding the scope of human knowledge and discovering our origin as a species, or you can believe the guy who thinks the arctic ice caps are melting because 'heat rises' to the north"
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YouTube - Eddie Izzard Circle (2002) on Popes

Eddie Izzard IImage by Generalnoir via Flickr

YouTube - Eddie Izzard Circle (2002) on Popes:
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10/20/10

Astrology by Tonto


The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camp
ing in the desert. After they got their 
Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. 


Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
Towards sky, what you see? ' 



The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 

 


'What that tell you?' asked Tonto. 


The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 


Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.



 Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. 


What's it tell you, Tonto?' 

 

You dumber than buffalo
shit … 
  . . . it means someone
 stole the tent.

thanks to Lori

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TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO:

"This is the first, original Trololo site that started it all!"

image via shirtoid.com


 see? you CAN make this shit up.
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10/19/10

xkcd: Tech Support

xkcd: Tech Support:

"Tech Support"

feels like home to me.

:-)

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Strand Bookstore: Event Calendar

Strand Bookstore: Event Calendar:

"Al Jaffee's Mad Life
October 19 07:00PM - 08:00PM

A MAD magazine contributor for 55 years-with work in more than 440 issues and counting!-iconic satiric cartoonist Al Jaffee has helped corrupt three generations of American adolescents with his ingenious and jaundiced humor. Now 89, the man who invented the magazine's beloved 'Fold-in' and provided countless 'Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions' has rarely spoken about his own peculiar childhood-a story as off-kilter as anything he could have dreamed up for MAD.


In the authorized biography, Al Jaffee's Mad Life, award-winning journalist Mary-Lou Weisman reconstructs Jaffee's extraordinary life story with the help of more than 65 original 4-color illustrations drawn for the book by Jaffee himself.
Mary-Lou Weisman will interview Al Jaffee on the Strand Stage."

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10/15/10

YouTube - Marc Maron sides with those who get high before work.

Marc MaronImage by kata rokkar via FlickrYouTube - Marc Maron sides with those who get high before work.:
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Why Sentence Structure Is So Important...

A normal home-office water cooler with 5gal. b...Image via Wikipedia















































Why Sentence Structure Is So Important...




The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people:  Mary or Jack.  It was an impossible decision because they were both decent workers.  Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Mary came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.  She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.  
The boss approached her and said, "Mary, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she said.  "I feel like shit this morning." ' 






via Billy
 (we knew him when he was PuertoRican)
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Christine O'Donnell Stumped When Asked To Name A Recent Supreme Court Decision She Disagrees With (VIDEO)

Who knew? Turns out the Tea Party was just ano...Image by Felix_Nine via FlickrChristine O'Donnell Stumped When Asked To Name A Recent Supreme Court Decision She Disagrees With (VIDEO):
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9/28/10

Atheists Outdo Some Believers in Survey on Religion - NYTimes.com

Atheists Outdo Some Believers in Survey on Religion - NYTimes.com:




"“I have heard many times that atheists know more about religion than religious people,” Mr. Silverman said. “Atheism is an effect of that knowledge, not a lack of knowledge. I gave a Bible to my daughter. That’s how you make atheists.”"

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9/14/10

Pastor's Business Card

On Sat, 8/28/10, Subject: Pastor's Business Card
To: Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com
Date: Saturday, August 28, 2010, 7:39 AM


Pastor's Business Card
 
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.  At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. 
 
Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
 
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.  Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10..'
 
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.  Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'
 
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones?
They still are!  Pass it on
'A cheerful heart is good medicine' (Prov. 17:22)